Weekend Recap

A couple of nights ago, Bryan told me that one of the guys from the band he has been playing with lately invited us to go out to Jimbo's with all of them and their wives on Saturday. I'd never been and I figured it would be fun. It would also give me a chance to get to know the guys since Bryan has been and will be spending so much time with them. We accepted the invitation and looked forward to it.

When Saturday came around, Bryan worked and I fixed up my blog. (Did you notice?) I decided that I needed a change. I'd really like to dedicate more time to SSMM but its hard. I often think to myself that I should take pictures of whatever we happen to be doing at the time, but then I chastise myself. I have to remember to LIVE my life... not just capture it. It's a tight rope, but I hope to do a better job of balancing the two. I would love to be able to look back on this little diary of mine, and revert back to these moments.

Anywho, my sister, Kari and her husband, Adam, came by the house to bring my wedding bins, a end table and a few other things. Bryan arrived home a few minutes after we were done looking at everything and we decided to play a few rounds of Mario Kart on the Wii. SO MUCH FUN. It was nice being able to hang out with them... They are hilarious. After they took off, I went to shower and ready myself and we ended up leaving the house around 6:45. I begged Bryan to stop by Starbucks. I am loving those Christmas gift cards! It was a nice little treat to keep the chills away - not to mention it pepped me up for what I knew would be a late night.

I haven't had In-N-Out in forever so that is where Bryan and I decided to eat. When we were done, the VZ Navigator took us out to Timbuktu instead of where we wanted to go. It was kind of hilarious... We ended up WAAAAY out in the country on East Bullard where there was no 'night life' in sight... besides the coyotes that were hanging around, I'm sure.

We finally arrived at our destination. Jimbo's is a pretty cool place... With a lot of different characters. The band ended up being pretty good and one of the wives we were with managed to get Bryan on stage.

It was a great time and even better was the fact that we had made plans to go Garage sale shopping when we woke up on Sunday. Except that we didn't. We made it home late, and by the time we were up and around it was too late. Instead, I threw all the fixings into the crock pot for Taco Soup and we went out on the town.

We drove around a bunch of local neighborhoods that we would want to live in. Our lease is ending at the end of this month, so we'll be moving. Its stressful and exciting all at once. Then, we went to return Christmas stuff at Target and FYE. Bryan had gotten me hot rollers, which I wanted super badly) but they didn't work on my hair. He also bought me Bones: Season 3 and 4 for Christmas, except I already had season 3... and one of the discs for season 4 didn't work! We exchanged the season 4 for a new one,

and I chose Dollhouse: Season 1 instead. LOVE. THAT. SHOW. I was really happy.

We spent some time in Game Stop and Borders since we both had gift cards but we left empty handed. They didn't have the book that I wanted and Bryan couldn't find anything he wanted so we decided to wait. I succeeded in getting Bryan to let me go to Ross because I've been looking for filler for a vase that I bought at Big Lots (for ten dollars! Love that place.) and I found some that matched perfectly! It was a successful outing!

Rick, Bryan's Dad, came over for some Mario Kart and dinner. We decided at the last minute to go see Up in the Air, the new movie with George Clooney. Folks, it's a dud. Totally not a good movie to pay for. At the end, you feel empty. It gives you no feelings of happiness, sadness, retribution, excitement, mystery.... absolutely nothing. Its not horrible... its just a flop. Anna Kendrick (known recently for her part in Twilight and New Moon) did a pretty great job though. She's a promising little actress.

Today marks the end of a four and a half day weekend for me, so its off to bed so I can work tomorrow. Hopefully the day flies by and I'll be on my way to the gym for Yoga and then off to Kari and Adam's for dinner. Seems to me like it'll be a great day tomorrow!

HAPPY NEW YEARS!

This year, Bryan and I decided to have a couple of friends over the house to play games and hang out. Since our lease is up at the end of January, we decided that it would be more frugal then going out on the town. It ended up being us and Denise, Anna, Colleen and Jordan.

It was fun and laid back! Next year though, we're gonna party! Maybe.... Vegas? Who knows!

Here are a few pictures of our night!

Yeah... We know.

Good Times at the KC Fair

It has been too long. I know, I know. I am slacking like crazy. Alas, my life is busy, and when life gets busy blogging is placed on the back-burner. But, what is nice is that I actually have things to write about!

The past two weeks have been Really. Freaking. Crazy. There has been a bunch of stuff going on at work, PLUS getting ready for the new year.. PLUS closing out the old year... PLUS trying to get completely organized so that this year is nothing like last year.

I have also been trying to get the house situated because the owners are coming to visit and I really want them to SEE how much I love their house. Which proves to be difficult when
A.) I am poor.
B.) My roommate is poor.
C.) We both stink at gardening/physical labor for various reasons.

But, we've gotten some things done and we need to do more but all the super hard work is pretty much done.

Luckily, my friend Ryan who came to visit from Kansas, helped us out A LOT with the gardening. (He even cleaned our kitchen.) It was really awesome and helpful considering the fact that I've been so stressed trying to coordinate everything by myself.

Don't worry, I didn't JUST put my friend since 4th grade to work. We had a lot of long conversations about life and about our goals. We caught up as much as week could in the time that we hung out.

This past weekend was the Kings County Fair and Anna, Denise and I carpooled over to it. Here is a SUPER CUTE picture of us waiting in line... (which Anna was TOTALLY not happy about.)


Finally, we made it into the Fair! In true Hanford Fashion, when we walked in, there was an amateur rapping duo that was laying down the.. whatever it is they lay down. I really wish now I had snapped a picture because I think that it was hilarious.

So, we walk the strip and go down to animals. There was nothing too spectacular but Denise held a bunny... which was really nice until it spooked and tried to end it all by jumping like 4 feet away from her and back into the little petting area.

We met up with Ryan and got our over 21 wristbands and decided to go to the Josh Gracin concert which was good but not great.


We stood close to the stage and sang to the songs we knew... but what we were really interested is was the cute guitarist/singer/pianist/violinist. He was soooo cute. Every time he would pick up the violin my heart would melt a little inside. To our dismay, he doesn't photograph all that well, but we tried anyways:


And Anna was definitely enjoying the eye candy:

And in the background Ryan is trying to mess with her ear because that is what he does.

Now... I'd like to take a moment to reflect on our Favorite Fair Moment.

There we were... just minding out own business, when All Of A Sudden a man walked up with his lady. This wasn't just any man. This man had style, this man had class. This man was and is really everything that a woman could desire:

When this guy walked up, He was wearing the boots, wranglers, and a tucked in wife-beater shirt. Which was funny in and of itself... but then, he slipped on his light brown leather vest and he went from funny to DOWNRIGHT AWESOME. In fact, he was so awesome that Denise wanted to take a picture with him:

I wish, beyond wishes, that Anna's hand was just a TAD higher so that it would be right under his butt... Just because it would be hilarious.

After the concert, Denise and I took pictures with the Really Hot Guy.



We took some other pictures but I'll post those in a supplemental blog, since this one is already crazy long.

Oh, by the way. I had one and a half beers and a corn dog which was the Worst Idea Ever and I got totally sick.

But other than that it was a great fair and I can't wait for the next one!

I have tons more to update you with so make sure to check back!

If My Life Was A Movie...Baby, I'd Be A Star!

In order for you to understand today, I have to rewind you to yesterday.

Yesterday, after I worked all day, I went to Tom and Amy's and paid a RIDICULOUS amount of money for gas and if you purchase a car wash when you fill up your tank, you get a Whole Dollar off of your wash. Hooray! So, I did just that.

I set the pump to the fastest level and waited. From the corner of my eye, I see someone approaching me. Being a woman, I always get a little tense, especially since I have been ogled and hit on many times at this gas station. (But I like the owners a lot so I put up with it.) Well, I glance and its this guy that works in the store and he's coming at me waving his arms and flailing about and speaking (YELLING) his native tongue (Japanese? Chinese? Hmong? I'm not sure.) I look around me to see if he's yelling at me and of course, there is no one at the other side of the pump.

Immediately my mind is racing, okay, I didn't get into my car so there shouldn't be static build up. I am currently not on my phone or texting so he's not yelling at me about that.. I had no clue what I was doing wrong, so quickly I turned to grab the squeegee to wash my front windshield. In doing so, I pass him on the way to the front of the car and he hardly notices me. I watch as he gets his key out (all the while still yelling) and he unlocks the receipt part. He then turns to me and says, "Damn receipt paper. Always get stuck. Hour, hour. Minute, minute. THIRD TIME TODAY. You get receipt in store." He turns away from me and starts fiddling with the paper. I finished my washing of the windshield, put the pump back and walked into the store to get my receipt - which was imperative because that's how I would get my car wash code. It's printed on the receipt.

I'm trying so hard not to laugh because the guy was hilarious, I get my receipt, climb into Skeeter and go to the car wash port. I type in my code and start to drive in when I slam on my brakes because Something Swoops Down and Tries To Kill Me millions of pigeons swarm at the sound of the buzzer and one poops on my FRESHLY CLEANED WINDOW. My first reaction was surprise, then annoyance, and then I laugh. Of COURSE there are pigeons in the car wash. It's like an insurance policy for the gas station. Pay for Car Wash. Pigeon Poops on Car. Pay for Car Wash. It's an Endless Cycle.

So, I go through the car wash, praying a bird doesn't get caught on the brushes and I sing to Taylor Swift. No harm, no foul. But this put me in quite a good mood, which set up the rest of the night.

I went home, got ready as quickly as possible and then went to my sisters house who has started up a weekly Women's Group and last night was the first meeting. It was just a few girls and we got to know each other a little bit and set down what we'll be reading on what day of the week at what time. I was really excited to get involved, but unfortunately the day they are meeting are Thursdays.. Thursdays are Really Bad Days for me. So I'll attend when I can but it won't be often and I'm sad. Hopefully someone else will start a group on like Tuesdays because I would be first in line to sign up.

After everyone left, Kari and one of the girls were outside talking, so I let in Gunther so I could hang out. This is Gunther:

Yeah I know, irresistible right? So Gunther and I decide to Wreak Havoc on Kari's clean and lovely house. We chased each other EVERY WHERE... all over his wonderful bone, that looks like a cigar hanging from his mouth. Its adorable. We did this for a good 15-20 minutes and at the end, Gunther was breathing much like I was. Hard and fast. We finally conceded that he could have the bone and we cuddled on the couch for a bit to catch our breaths, then I left.

I went home, went to sleep. Slept.

Now, on to the REAL story.

This morning, the first thing I noticed was not the birds singing outside my window, or how my dog was curled up so sweetly next to me. No. The first thing I noticed was that my Butt was SO SORE. I climbed out of bed feeling like I worked out like a crazy person the night before. But I didn't work out. Why I am sore? IT COULDN'T BE BECAUSE I WAS RUNNING AROUND IN CIRCLES IN KARI'S HOUSE CHASING A DOG RIGHT? I had to do something else yesterday... Lunges? Run 10,000 miles? It couldn't be. It couldn't. It WAS. How very sad. So I walked into the bathroom and looked at my self in the mirror to assess the damage to my hair and with all seriousness, I looked like a early 80s pop star gone wrong. Terribly Wrong. My bangs were standing straight up, my hair was fuzzy and crazy and I forgot to wash off my eye make up so I had black all around by eyes. All I needed was a leather jacket and a cigarette dangling and you'd think I transported through time.

I repaired the damage (with my hair actually looking cute today...and no I didn't put it up in a crap ball, thank you very much.) And then I got excited. Today is Friday. Friday is half day. More importantly... Friday is Coffee Day!!! My morning routine gets a whole lot faster. I'm speeding around trying to get everything done as quickly as possible so that I can finally hold my Tall, Hot, White Mocha with Vanilla from Java Heaven. I couldn't wait!

So, the last finishing touches: Get Dressed; Put on Deodorant; Put on Jewelry; Spray Perfume; Grab purse; Leave.

All of those were standard... except for the deodorant. I have just developed ANOTHER allergy to the ONLY deodorant I have been able to use for years. *tear* After posting this on Facebook, Kari says she just bough a two pack and that I could try it to see if I liked it or if it destroyed my skin. I stood there... looking at my previously deodorant with disdain. How could you fail me? How could you? After all these years of searching. Why? Then I looked at the new stick of deodorant.. I suddenly went to a dark place. Which is worse? Putting on my old deodorant and dealing with the eating-my-flesh burning sensation or trying this new, SCENTED deodorant and possibly having a more severe reaction? I almost chickened out. Almost. Coffee pulled me through. I grabbed the new deodorant in a rush to get done, out and to Java Heaven when I came across a whole new problem. I, not for my life of me, could not take off the little plastic thingy that is glued to the inside used to keep the deodorant from drying out.

Finally, I used my teeth. I know. Don't judge me. So I put it on, half expecting my skin to sizzle off, but nothing happened. I put the top back on, set it down and went to my perfume. When I lifted my arm I stopped. I could smell it. I can SMELL the deodorant. Is that supposed to happen? Am I the only one that can smell it? WHO would think this was a better alternative. (Ugh, I can smell it right now.) I started to freak out. I don't like smells. Harsh smells give me migraines. I do not like migraines. I quickly recovered, sprayed the perfume and walked out side. As I was backing out of the garage, I turned to go right... and I smelled it. AGAIN. I'm freaking out, man! I literally had to talk myself into calming down and kept focusing on getting a coffee.

I suppose I was focusing really hard which is why I missed my turn. I had to make a U-turn just to go back to the coffee shop. And of course I did it. The thought would never have crossed my mind to just continue to work. No sirree. I wanted that coffee. Needed it.

Is it bad when I roll down my window and the woman at the drive through says, "Would you like your usual?" or is it good? Because I consider it a wonderful thing. "Why yes, I would!" and that's it. She went off to make it (I love when this girl makes it. It's the best) and that was that.

In a much, much better mood after getting my coffee with the decadent chocolate covered coffee bean on the top, I puttered off to work, leaving my window down. I got on the main road, went a steady speed of 60mph, when all of a sudden I am Viciously Attacked by a receipt gone awry! Mind you, I jacked my wrist up so right now, I'm wearing a wrist support to keep it straight, which unfortunately gives me limited movement in my hand. I am also driving with this hand because I cannot hold my coffee in it. My coffee is being held in my right hand.

Sooo... I had no tools to fight this demon receipt! I can only imagine if someone actually saw me this morning in my car. Frantically switching between waving my arms to stop the receipt from getting my face and trying to keep the car straight.

Other than all that craziness, I received great news today! Katie has been having some issues with Zac and things seem to be moving in her favor. Praise God! For those of you that are already praying, please keeping doing so.

Until next time!

A Life Worth Living

I'm a horrible person.

I have been neglecting my blog, when there is so much to write about!

My trip to the coast was exactly what I needed. Unfortunately, when I returned I got some bad news, was scared half to death at 1 am which made me have horrible dreams. I woke up Monday morning with a huge migraine. My second this month. :( It was really, really bad. Those who get migraines will know how bad it was when I say that it was a 'throwing up' migraine. My Dad ended up stopping by to make sure I was okay.

While we are on the subject of my Dad, please keep him in your prayers. He is such a good man, with a good heart. I pray that what is going on right now will get him on the right path. I don't want to lose my Dad. All of your prayers are appreciated.
Mike B. and I have continued to hang out. He is SUCH a goofball. It totally makes me laugh.

There is no news on the Michael front. I'm over it, he's over it. It was a big mistake. A relationship that was based on a lot of deceit. I'm glad it ended before I really got hurt. Adam (my brother-in-law) was right. "If he doesn't call, you have just avoided a huge disaster." And that is exactly what it was. Michael is a good person and he gave me some good memories. I hope that in time we can be good friends. :)

Lately, I've been trying to cork my shyness and put it on the shelf. I've made it a point to be more bold with people I don't know. I've also been getting involved in the Young Republicans of Kings County club.

I am really, truly excited for this club. I really believe that America needs to come back to the conservative side. The club has a good crop of people that I think can make a difference. We want to grow to be a voice in this state. And even beyond this state. It is high time people got involved. I'm so thankful to be a part of it and that the skills I have will help out. We have a lot of events coming up and I really want to immerse myself in it.

Another task I have been working on is decorating my house. I've been trying to get the house completely ready by Easter. I want everything to have a place and everything to be in that place. I love my little home. I can't wait to have some barbeque's here and to celebrate birthdays. Maybe I'm going a little Under the Tuscan Sun here, but I want a house that people like to come to. That is homey and a sanctuary. I am dedicated to making this house as full of love and peace as possible.

The next thing on my list is to get involved in a ministry at church. I've been praying about it a lot. I'm not sure where I should serve. But I do know that I need to get into whatever it is that I'm going to get in to.

Speaking of which, tonight will be an early night because tomorrow I have church. I haven't gone the past two weeks and I am missing it! Luckily, Oasis posts Pastor Kenny's sermons online, so I was able to catch up at work!

Well, that is all for now. I have more stuff to jot on here, but I'm off to dinner. I'm starving and these Robins Eggs are NOT cutting it.

Life is Not a Fantasy...

I have been so busy lately, it's pretty incredible. My sister, Kari complained because I haven't been blogging.

I'll start by saying that one week and one day after the whole 'incident' with Michael happened, we talked on the phone. That entire week, we'd been at odds. I was upset because he didn't have the decency to call me, I was angry because everyone promised he would realize his mistake and he'd call me and he didn't. I was confused and felt like all those times he said that I meant so much to him and that I was exactly the kind of girl he wanted was a lie. First of all, I don't think you should treat people that "mean a lot to you" like that. Second, obviously I didn't mean much to him, because he didn't call. And third... The kind of girl he wanted? Why would he want a girl like me, if I'm the kind of girl that doesn't condone things like drugs? What is the point of wanting a "good girl" if you are only going to shove all the things that make her good in her face? Why want a good girl when you want to make bad decisions? (Maybe he thought I was the 'good girl' that wanted a 'bad boy'. I'm not. I want a good boy to be my partner, to have fun with and also care for and be cared for... pretty simple, or at least, I think it is.)

The whole week after his birthday, we were making pretty bitter remarks to each other. That Sunday, we talked. And not much came from it except that we're not angry with each other... I told him why I was upset and he told me why he was. Then he says something to the effect of, "I'm so confused. I don't know what you would act like in the future. I mean, how am I supposed to take you to Vegas? What if things got out of hand, would you leave again?"

Those comments nearly knocked my breath out. It's like... how insensitive. If it was the other way around and I was inviting him some where like Vegas, or really, anywhere, I would make sure that we had fun, but that I was aware of his comfort level. It's just like having a guest stay at your house. You try to be accommodating. I was really nervous and excited for Vegas. I wanted to have a good time, but having a good time does not equal bending on my morals. Just because I am in a different zip code doesn't mean I'll behave any differently than if I was in good ol' Hanford, where my parents know about everything I do within minutes of my doing it.

What it came down to was that Michael is two different people trapped in one body. Hanford Michael and I got along really well. Going out to dinner or a bar, drinking a few beers, playing pool, hanging with friends or family... Always fun. Then there is Isla Vista Michael. Megan and Isla Vista Michael don't get along so much. IV Michael is a bit more liberal in the choices he makes. He knows what he does there won't be reported to his parents or get back to his aunts. So, if I may say so, he let's it all hang out.

Which is fine. Honestly, I wasn't naive to the IV way of life. I know what happens there. I've heard and seen what happens there. It was fine with me. The parties, the drinking, although not my favorite, were there. Michael really did slow down. And he probably did a lot of it because of me, because of our long distance relationship. Everything would have been fine, I think, if he had chosen to decline the drugs. Everything else I can tolerate, except drugs. Which, I guess was something he didn't want to compromise on.

Moving on from that, I've been having a whole lot of fun lately! I've actually felt like I'm not a prude, 35 year old woman, but a 21-25ish person. I've been staying out later. Going out with friends. Having a few drinks with dinner. Getting all cute and dressed up and going out instead of staying in with a good movie or book and lots of sleep. (I do miss the sleep, though.)

One of the people that I have been hanging out with is Mike B. Which can be and is dangerous. He is such a honest, straight up good guy that it would be really easy to fall for him. Every time we hang out, he opens the door for me. It doesn't matter that we're just friends, he opens the door for me, without fail. He is hilarious and brings out the younger, goofy side of me. He's extremely thoughtful. He truly is a catch. Hands down. I love spending time with him.

This Saturday we went to Fresno to have dinner with his Uncle, (who has an amazing house) and we went to Edwards to see Watchmen. We both liked the movie. However, we were both pretty unprepared for the graphic love scene... Where we both covered each others eyes. So there we were in a packed theater covering our eyes during the sex scene.. I bet everyone thought we were crazy.

I've also been hanging out with Jon, who is an old friend of mine from Woodrow. He's had a rough life and is totally the opposite of me in every way, but is still amazing. He is a tattoo artist who is big and burly, and is covered with tattoos. So are all of his friends. And then I walk in with him in my normal Megan clothes (which are all modest, because heck, I work at a school. And I'm not going to buy two sets of clothes, one for work and one for my nightlife. Well..because I don't HAVE a nightlife.) I do not fit in with his friends. At. All. Jon compared it to a rose next to brass knuckles. Which in his world makes sense.

Somehow, this leads me to two people I have been really worried about. Katie and my Dad. My Dad has been having a really hard time lately. I've been having horrible dreams about him. It is like he is giving up. I've been praying so much for him. I miss him like crazy. I wish so bad that I could make a difference in his life. I wish there was something I could do to save him. I just feel like I am standing on the edge of a cliff and watching him fall. It is so hard to be the daughter of a Binge-Drinker Alcoholic. I have my Dad part of the time.. but then he's gone. And I just wait for his call. It's been over a week since I've talked to him. In February, I didn't talk to him for three weeks. He drank for three weeks straight. When I saw him, it broke my heart. It breaks my heart every day.

It's really hard for me to admit but I don't think he'll be alive when I get married. I have this awful feeling that he is not going to be around to walk me down the aisle. To give me away to make the biggest commitment of my life. He won't be there to see me get all big and pregnant, or to hold his grandson or granddaughter. I'll miss all of those memories because with every drink he takes, he is killing himself. I'm jealous because Alison and Kari will have some of those memories, when I just don't think I will. I can feel it. He's given up on God. He has no hope to change. He sees no reason to go to AA because everyone there falls. He doesn't see that they fall, but get right back up and try to continue their sobriety. It's all excuses. My Dad is giving in to the alcohol... And then people wonder why I don't drink a lot or get drunk. It's amazing.

I worry about Katie because she is going through a lot of things right now with her husband, Zac. She talks to me and tells me what I'm sure is only part of what is really going on. It is not too big of a secret that Zac and I don't get along. I don't like the way he treats Katie. I think that they went really fast and were/are really young... Now they are going through some of the consequences. I just hate that Katie is hurting. A part of me wants to tell her to run far away from him but another part of me wants me to tell her that she made a commitment and she needs to work it out. Mostly, I stay quiet. I don't want to say something that will upset our friendship and have her push me out of her life... I know she's going to need me to support her.

On a happier note, I've spent more time with Kari lately. Which is always awesome... but it always makes me miss Alison. Both girls are doing very well and both are busy with their families, jobs, church activities, etc.

Denise and Brian are going strong and I couldn't be happier! I've wanted to see something flourish between them for a long time.. and now that it has, it seems to be a really great thing. I'm so excited for them!

On the relationship front for me, I'm not looking. I'm going to just stay where I am for a while... Make sure that I get over Michael completely and continue to work on myself and my relationship with God. I've been going to church every Sunday and have been trying to read my Bible a few times a week. It's hard to get in the habit but well worth it.

I'm hoping to update more this week.. so stay tuned!

Another Day... Another Dollar

Let me start out by saying that I had a pretty good day today.

First, my Dad stopped by this morning to give me some paperwork and it was good seeing him, even if I was wearing the Sigma Pi-neapple Express t-shirt that Michael got me. Which brings me to my second...

I spoke with Michael today. I had dreams about him all night. I. Miss. Him. More than yesterday. It seems every day I miss him more. Michael has had a really bad week. A good friend of his took his life and that has jolted him and their group of friends. I wish that I could be more.. there..for Michael right now. I want to hug him and try to make him feel better. I wish I could hold his hand or kiss him. This is way harder than I ever thought it would be. I thought I was guarding my heart after Bryan... but at some point and I don't know when, I started to raise that gate that separated Michael and my heart...

Well, the third thing I had to write about was work. I was on fire today. In order to take my mind off of my second on this list, I have thoroughly thrown myself into work. I got so much done. I started projects and actually finished them. It's really nice to have that finality at work, because I'm feeling so undone in most other areas.

Right before I was leaving for the day my friend Michael B. (who I will call Mike, to make it less confusing) text messaged me and basically ordered me to go run errands with him. So I did. I wasn't planning on announcing that Michael and I were no longer together, but I showed him the picture of my Mom and I eating Filhose (Portuguese Doughnuts) on Fat Tuesday and asked if he had had any. He grabbed my phone and this was the following conversation.

Mike: "Oh my gosh. Who is this girl? Is she single??"
Me: "Which one?"
Mike: "Which one? (pause...) Is one of them single?"
Me: "Uhh... (pause, trying to decide what to say).. yes."
Mike: "Oh. (shocked face) Your Mom and Larry got a divorce?" (jokingly)
Me: "Yeah...cause all of a sudden we've entered the twilight zone."
Mike: "What happened?"
Me: (Tells story) "Please don't tell anyone. It kind of sunk my self-esteem."
Mike: (looks at me like I'm an idiot) He ditched you to lock himself in an apartment? He DITCHED you? Wow. He's insane. Any guy that would do that to YOU is insane."

We dropped it after that. His reaction kind of confused me. I didn't quite understand why he emphasized the YOU in that last sentence. Anyways, I had also mentioned to him that I was dieting because I wanted to lose a good twenty pounds and he immediately freaked out. So he took me straight to Mickey D's where he ordered two ice cream cones. We sat in the parking lot, talked and ate. I'm not too mad at myself though because I pushed a good part of the top off into a bag so I ate less ice cream. I was pretty proud.

When he dropped me off, I helped Denise unload the rest of the dishes and we went off to Bath and Body Works to use a gift card we each had. I walked away with a Warm Vanilla Sugar Wallflower Plug In so my room, as I type, smells like, well, me! I also bought a new body cream called Moonlight Path. It's going to be really good to use right before bed. And the best part: We each received a free zebra print tote with purchase! It was awesome! I got a teal and white one, Denise got one that was black and white. We're going to use them to grocery shop.

Saving our world one plastic bag at a time. :)

Moving On...

It is always hard after a break up. I was just telling Alison today that I've been doing well, but that since a large part of my day is gone, I am feeling a huge void.

If that wasn't bad enough, I've been having some self esteem issues because of this. If Michael hadn't chosen to do what he did in the apartment, we wouldn't be here. But, that is what he chose, and it was his right. I can't change it.

I also can't help but wonder why I wasn't enough for him to decide to not smoke. The one thing that he knew I couldn't stand, he did anyways. I wasn't mad at him for getting impossibly drunk. I wouldn't have even been mad if he had passed out from his drinking. But what he did in the apartment was enough for me to walk away without hesitation. He knew that about me. I never made it a secret...but he chose to do it. I guess that is the thing that hurts the most.

Back to the void, I've been trying to fill it with good things. I've been working out, bring work home with me, staying a bit more focused at work (well, most of the time) and doing things around the house. It also has required a LOT of music, which is never a bad thing. :)

Every day is getting easier. I'm pretty blessed to have the family and friends that I do. They always seem to rally around me at the best times. I love them very, very much.

Oh! Denise just reminded me that Prina is coming down for the weekend, so now I really have something to look forward too. I think us girls are going to go out dancing. A proven way to get over a broken heart? GIRL TIME!

Yay!

A Good and Unproductive Weekend.

I am completely and utterly in love... With my house. I love the smell, the sounds, how it settles at night. I walked out this morning and stood the porch and just looked. I stretched. I seriously cannot wait to get a little bench so I can take my coffee out there in the mornings and just relax.

Last night I had the privilege of hanging out with Tanner Mathews, my best friend in high school. We were inseparable our senior year. One thing is true, I absolutely adore that boy. He is amazing. I was laughing my butt off ALL night. He's a riot.

He came over around 6, and we went to watch Push. (Click here for the review.)

Then we went to La Fiesta to grab some food and a beer. It was delicious. My new guilty pleasure is a number 13, (Enchilada and Taco) with a Bud Light Lime. By the time we got there, it was like 9:15 and we start to walk up to the bar door. As soon as I reach out for it, the mariachi band start to play. It was the long drawl of the trumpet. The trumpet that has no filter, so it is very, very loud. I turn to look at Tanner and he looks at me and says, "Oh, hell no, Megan." I start laughing so hard. The look on his face was precious! Needless to say, we went into another room. OMG. It was amazing. Good movie, good food, good company equals a perfect evening in my book!

Today I have managed to get absolutely nothing done. Which is both awesome and embarrassing. There is so much to be done in this house! Boxes and cleaning, cleaning and boxes. But no. I chatted online with Michael all day, playing poker and webcaming. Then, out of no where, I fall asleep. I got off the internet to take a shower, and I just laid on my bed for a while, and then all of a sudden I wake up and an hour or so has passed by. It was crazy. Well that nap made me more lazy, so got back onto the internet and chatted away.

I talked to Brad on Facebook for a while, he invited me to his casa tomorrow. Him and Elaine have a couple of horses and after verbally abusing me for being such a loser because I was at home alone on a Saturday, he said that I should come over after church tomorrow to ride one of their horses, Chief. It is amazing how excited I am about this! I haven't been on a horse since I was like 7 or 8, when my Grandpa took us around the dairy on Lady. Sooo, I'm stoked. Hopefully the weather is good and he really texts me. He said he'd take pictures to which I replied, "Oh, that'll be great. So that when I fall off the horse you'll have photographic evidence. AWESOME." But nonetheless, if there are pictures I will post them for your viewing pleasures.

Mmm, the house smells so amazing right now. After my long, hot shower, I felt the need to bake. So I made a peanut butter bars with chocolate on top, and while that was in the oven I made a few chocolate covered pretzels. :) So now, the house smells like a home.

The good part is that I don't actually feel like eating anything that I baked. So maybe I'll cut them up and take them to church tomorrow! We'll just have to see! Makes me kind of nervous because you never know if someone is allergic to peanut butter.

Alright, well. Time to brush the teeth and get the animals settled for bed.

The End.

Thank the Lord Almighty, the end of this week is drawing near. Luckily, today has been flying by and I only have two hours and fifteen minutes more of work. Woo-Hoo!

The past couple of days have been going pretty smoothly. Denise and I are still in the process of moving, there are boxes pretty much every where in the house. However, it is as organized as it can be.

Last night, we went to dinner with Kari and Adam, which is always fun. After we went to Lassen to clean the kitchen and pack all of our food/dishes. Dee walked in first with me close behind. She takes the turn to go the kitchen and stops right in front of me. It surprised me. I almost knocked into her. When I saw her jaw-dropped facial expression, I followed her gaze and immediately started laughing. EVERYTHING of ours was all over the kitchen table, chairs and floor. Yes, our food and pots and pans was all over the floor.

It was so ridiculous and hilarious and frustrating at the same time. Denise was pretty pissed. I had to keep reminding her that he made it easier. He created a big pile for us, which I am used to because of Alison. (I loathe piles because on cleaning days, Alison would make piles on the floor for me to clean. It was annoying.) But I tried to channel Michael and be positive.

We packed everything up, and only had to make two trips. We didn't see Cisco the entire time we were there. I didn't mind either. I'm afraid that we won't be friends after this. There are too many feelings that I've poured into a sturdy bottle that is sealed pretty tight. If I ever talk to him, I might blow up. Which would probably by glorious and horrible all at the same time.

Wednesday, Michael B. called me to ask if I would come by his work so he could check out the damage on my car. It was very nice to see him. In such a short time he became a close friend. I am always sad when I lose someone I connect with. It's so rare to find someone that you can have a conversation with, without ever having to open your mouth. I'm praying that we'll be able to be friends again in the future.

Well, I should probably get back to work. Everyone is gone today, which makes it nice. I have been getting quite a bit done.

I hope the last two hours pass by as quickly as the first three. Michael is on his way and I can't wait to see him. I've missed him a lot this week... Well...honestly I miss him a lot every week. But seeing him at the end of a really hard week makes it even sweeter. Spending time with him will be the perfect end to this week. :)