Thought Process

July is going to be SUCH a great month!

-New Fiscal Year

-Ryan is visiting from Kansas

-Fair

-Harry Potter 6

-Visiting Alison and family in San Diego (NEXT WEEK)

-Meeting the owners of the house

-GETTING AN AIR CONDITIONER

I am so blessed!

Matters of the Heart

**This post is totally coming from a disheartened Megan. Just an FYI for you.**

Most of the time I am okay with coming from a broken family. Most of the time I feel like I have overcome a lot of obstacles to get me to where I am today. And I feel like so far, I've succeeded.

Yes, I've made mistakes. Little ones and big ones. But I've learned. I've grown. I've managed to escape huge disasters. A lot of people that know me have said at one point, "I have no clue how you and your sisters turned out the way you did."

But sometimes things happen. Events in a day. Something that triggers a memory. Sometimes I'll look at the picture I have of my Mom and Dad in the mountains with snow surrounding them and I remember the casualties.

I feel the ache in my heart knowing that my future children (if I have any) will never see their grandparents together. And maybe worse, I know that Emma and Brody, who are here now, will never get to go camping with their grandma and grandpa.. something that they loved to do. Or go to the lake and swim. Or swim in the pool with them together. When they are old enough, they might hear my parents love story, but they won't really get it, won't understand it. It'll be foreign.

I know that everything happens for a reason. I know that God has a plan that I am not going to even try to figure out. And I know that the people that my parents are with now are so awesome and I am happy to have them in my life.

But I also mourn the loss for my original family of 5. I get sad at how much the decisions that our parents made has affected not only their lives, but all of ours too. I'm sad that there are all these rivers and valleys between the five of us and we'll never find a bridge or walk the distance to find each other again.

Luckily, humans adapt. Even though part of me will always wish that I could revert time and control every detail to make things happen a different way, I will always reject the idea. I would never want to disrupt what we all have now.

Alison, a woman I admire so much, has a wonderful husband and a beautiful family. I would never risk altering her life.

Kari, my fierce and loving sister is so happy with her life and her hubby and lil Gunther and their new house that they are making a home more and more each day... and to think of doing anything in the past that might change that gets automatically thrown out.

Maybe because I am single and still figuring life out, I have time to think about these things. Maybe because I was the only one left when my family finally cut the ties and I watched it all happen I have a different view. I don't know.

I just know that nights like tonight I wish I could call my parents and get some type of advice. Which I could probably still do, but why bring it up when everyone has moved on?

Q: Is Eating Raw Spaghetti Noodles Bad for My Dog?

Cause if so, Houston... We have a problem.

Rewind to the beginning.

I borrowed The Lucky One by Nicholas Sparks from my Mom. I got home and sat down, thinking to myself, "Oh, I'll read for a little bit to unwind, then I'll get some stuff done in the house." (Unwind because on Monday my auditors will be here... and this entire week has been really stressful and trying in order to get ready for that.... Not to mention that the caterer I was going to meet up with my canceled when I was already on my way. Annoying!!!)

Big. Fat. FAIL.

After a hundred pages or so, my stomach starts to ache a bit. Twenty five more pages and my stomach starts to churn. Seventy five more pages and my stomach is screaming - FEED ME NOW OR YOU WILL REALLY REGRET IT. And just to show it Means Business, my head gets a little twinge of a headache.

I concede, set down my book, realize that I have FOUR text messages (which is a lot, trust me.) and its 7:45. Whooooaaaa.. No wonder I am so hungry. I ate at 11:30 today.

I get up, decide to have some s'getti and I go to the pantry to get the noodles. I look in the usual area and there is nothing but a HUGE box of the noodles. I could have sworn that we had more than this box. Well, I quick scan the shelf above that and I see a smaller box of noodles that seems like it was sealed. I was like.. hmm... wrong placement. Oh well. So I grab it, THINKING that it is sealed. Lo and behold it is not sealed. Nosiree. The wonderful part is that the part closest to me was the bottom, and the part farthest from me was the unsealed part. In my raw Wonder Woman power, I yanked the box spilling noodles every where. Don't believe me? Oh, I have proof.

The damage:


Yes. I kid you not. I was like... Oh. My. Word.

I got the camera because I knew you guys wouldn't, couldn't possibly understand what a mess it was.

I'm taking pictures and when finished, I turn around to see this little guy doing a very naughty thing:

It's almost like he is thinking: Don't look at me, Mom. I'm just hanging out, being innocent.

What? I'm sitting here innocently... Can't you SEE?

Well...You are taking pictures so obviously you are not that mad. I'll just continue doing what I'm doing and you go about your business.

It was a pretty eventful start to my dinner preparation. But my food is now finished and my stomach hasn't gotten any fuller. Time to eat!

The Honest Scrap Award

There are a few requirements and they are as follows:
- I must thank the person who gave me the award and list their blog and link it
- I must list 10 honest things about myself
- I must put a copy of The Honest Scrap Logo on my blog.
- I must select at least 7 other worthy bloggers & list their links
- I must notify the bloggers of the award and hopefully they will follow the above requirements.

---

As you can see I've been nominated for an award. Thanks to Hypnosis To Transform Your Life for tagging ME! I'm relatively new to the blogging world so I don't have seven blogs to tag, so I'm going to be totally lame and wait to tag people. I'm getting interested in a few more blogs so I'll tag some as soon as I am able and have blogs worthy of being tagged!

So, all I have to do now is blog Ten Honest Things about me.

1.) I am a morning person. I love waking up early in the mornings, sitting on the porch, having some coffee and reading a book. Or even just sitting there.

2.) I would love, (love, love) to be a stay at home wife and mother someday. I have such a desire to have the kind of life where I can be at home for my husband when he gets home, with a warm meal on the table and the house clean. I would love to have the privilege of watching my children grow and being able to really be there for them. (At least when they are younger.. once they get to middle school, I'd like to either have a part time job ooorr....)

3.) If I am able to be a stay at home wife/mom, I would love to put extra energy into writing. A long while ago I wrote a book, probably one that will never get published and I am writing my second one now. I would also love to write screenplays. Even if it is just a past time. But I'd love to write and get paid for it!

4.) I wish so badly that I was more creative. I wish I could paint or sew, or something!!! I would love to make my own dresses and build my own jewelry boxes... But have no clue where to start on that front. Haha... and I fear it will always turn out different than what I have in my head.

5.) You may or may not know this but I love to read. I love reading any books about relationships. I love reading about the interactions of people and just their daily life. Maybe that's why I love blogs!

6.) I love to watch movies. Give me a movie, some fruit, popcorn or ice cream and I am good. to. go.

7.) I am super-duper shy...even if it doesn't seem like it. I have to make SUCH an effort to be outgoing. I rarely ever make the first move... and half the time I'm getting to know someone I am trying to A. figure them out and try to gauge their personality and B. I wonder (and worry) if I'm going to be totally rejected.

8.) I am longing to develop long and lasting relationships with a girls at or close to my age. I am really missing the connection between girls... which probably stems from my sisters being either far away or enveloped in their own life. I would love to have a Sex and The City type group but without all the sex... and The City. But I'd love to have some real friendships where we can be honest and supportive with each other.

9.) I am never satisfied with my life. I always have goals... once I achieve the goal I take a few moments to bask in the awesomeness of achieving the goal... I then figure out my next goal... and I keep moving. I like to keep 'climbing the ladder." I guess that's the Republican in me. ;) They don't even have to be life changing goals... they can just be reorganizing the pantry! But I always have little things to accomplish.

10.) If I could go back in time to any moment, I would go back to this one vacation where my family and I went camping. I woke up in the morning and it was just me and my Dad and he was getting ready to cook breakfast...and he was making coffee.. I remember the smell.. Anyways. I was trying to climb up this little hill on the side of the mountain to get to a trail but I kept falling, so my Dad gave me his hammer and showed me how to notch foot holes in the dirt and climb up. I was so ecstatic. When I came back down my Mom and him were making breakfast and my sisters were waiting at the table. My Dad had Glen Campbell playing. It was such a nice family moment. I miss things like that.

There it is. I tried to be as brutally honest as I could. Hope you learned something new about me. :)

Looking for a Miracle.. or Two......or Three???

Yesterday, I woke up with the feeling that it was going to be a good day... for the most part, it was. I got to do some reading, visit Anna's new apartment, swim at my Moms and watch a little TV.. Unfortunately, while cuddling with Beanie, I fell asleep. I thought I had just dozed off for a little while and checked my phone to see what time it was.

Was it just a ten minute nap? No. It Wasn't. I fell asleep for an hour and a half. It was 4:57... I had plans at 6:00pm. Needless to say, I was late. Which set the tone for my plans. The night ended up being pretty crappy, despite getting four, really cute/cheap small blue vases from Pier 1. (Love that store.) Did I mention they were cheap? I paid $4.27 for them. Yeah, I know.

So, the night ends up with me in tears. Don't ask how it happened, but it did. I rarely ever cry. I was super frustrated. After that the night got a little better... then it got a lot worse. I had a migraine. My migraines have really been lightening up lately, but every time I am close to my 'time of the month' I will get a migraine. And I did last night. And no, it wasn't just a 'I want to blow my brains migraine'... it wasn't even a 'I want to place my head in a vice and twist the nob until there is enough pressure to stop the pain migraine.' No... it was a 'I want to completely detach my head, sell it on the black market, buy a new head, attach that head, and pray that the person whose head I now have does not suffer from headaches or migraines.' It was one of my epic hallucinatory migraines that I Just Love So Much.

Luckily, I had an (expired) Maxalt.. so I took that with two Aleves. I was in and out of sleep consciousness and then I completely woke up and my migraine turned into the throwing up kind. Ugh. I HATE the throwing up migraines.

Needless to say, I didn't make it to church today. But I did attend home group, so I don't feel too horrible. I also made it to Target to buy some new storage for my laundry room. I was perusing different blogs and one gave me an idea, so we'll see if it works.

After I finished putting everything together, Denise and I headed over to my Moms to go swimming. It was Glorious. We played games, tanned a little, swam a lot. It felt awesome.

We got home, did some cleaning up and Denise made dinner AND dessert. She's like the best popcorn popper ever. If people gave awards for that kind of thing, she would get one. For sure.

This weekend was pretty much a bust. I did have a few good moments. However, I had hoped that this weekend would be refreshing since this week I'm going to be working like a dog to get everything perfect for the auditors that will be coming on July 5 and 6. Please pray that I have the energy to get everything done and that the auditors take it easy on a first year. I'll let you know how it fairs.

Well, a little more laundry to do and I'm done for the day. Hope your weekend was filled with tons of good things.

PS... Please pray that the neighbors that smoke near our swamp cooler decide suddenly to quit for their health. Having cool air that smells like smoke is no bueno. Especially when you are standing right in front of it and it assaults you in the face. Actually, lets pray that the owners of the house decide to go ahead and put an air conditioner on the house. Yes... both of those are long shots... but God can move mountains. I have faith that He'll work it out!

PSS... I just had a two minute rant about how both Family Guy and American Dad had shows about how being gay is normal, natural and is okay. And Denise wonders why we watched part of the Charlies Angels marathon (a Farrah Fawcett tribute, so they were the older ones.) THIS IS WHY. Yes... Gay people, you are loved. Jesus loves you. I love you. But that doesn't make your lifestyle right... and it certainly shouldn't be conveyed to young kids (who have no business watching either of those shows) as okay. It's not okay. I'm sorry. I love you...but it's just not.

PSSS... I think I am super hormonal... *steps off soapbox.*

If My Life Was A Movie...Baby, I'd Be A Star!

In order for you to understand today, I have to rewind you to yesterday.

Yesterday, after I worked all day, I went to Tom and Amy's and paid a RIDICULOUS amount of money for gas and if you purchase a car wash when you fill up your tank, you get a Whole Dollar off of your wash. Hooray! So, I did just that.

I set the pump to the fastest level and waited. From the corner of my eye, I see someone approaching me. Being a woman, I always get a little tense, especially since I have been ogled and hit on many times at this gas station. (But I like the owners a lot so I put up with it.) Well, I glance and its this guy that works in the store and he's coming at me waving his arms and flailing about and speaking (YELLING) his native tongue (Japanese? Chinese? Hmong? I'm not sure.) I look around me to see if he's yelling at me and of course, there is no one at the other side of the pump.

Immediately my mind is racing, okay, I didn't get into my car so there shouldn't be static build up. I am currently not on my phone or texting so he's not yelling at me about that.. I had no clue what I was doing wrong, so quickly I turned to grab the squeegee to wash my front windshield. In doing so, I pass him on the way to the front of the car and he hardly notices me. I watch as he gets his key out (all the while still yelling) and he unlocks the receipt part. He then turns to me and says, "Damn receipt paper. Always get stuck. Hour, hour. Minute, minute. THIRD TIME TODAY. You get receipt in store." He turns away from me and starts fiddling with the paper. I finished my washing of the windshield, put the pump back and walked into the store to get my receipt - which was imperative because that's how I would get my car wash code. It's printed on the receipt.

I'm trying so hard not to laugh because the guy was hilarious, I get my receipt, climb into Skeeter and go to the car wash port. I type in my code and start to drive in when I slam on my brakes because Something Swoops Down and Tries To Kill Me millions of pigeons swarm at the sound of the buzzer and one poops on my FRESHLY CLEANED WINDOW. My first reaction was surprise, then annoyance, and then I laugh. Of COURSE there are pigeons in the car wash. It's like an insurance policy for the gas station. Pay for Car Wash. Pigeon Poops on Car. Pay for Car Wash. It's an Endless Cycle.

So, I go through the car wash, praying a bird doesn't get caught on the brushes and I sing to Taylor Swift. No harm, no foul. But this put me in quite a good mood, which set up the rest of the night.

I went home, got ready as quickly as possible and then went to my sisters house who has started up a weekly Women's Group and last night was the first meeting. It was just a few girls and we got to know each other a little bit and set down what we'll be reading on what day of the week at what time. I was really excited to get involved, but unfortunately the day they are meeting are Thursdays.. Thursdays are Really Bad Days for me. So I'll attend when I can but it won't be often and I'm sad. Hopefully someone else will start a group on like Tuesdays because I would be first in line to sign up.

After everyone left, Kari and one of the girls were outside talking, so I let in Gunther so I could hang out. This is Gunther:

Yeah I know, irresistible right? So Gunther and I decide to Wreak Havoc on Kari's clean and lovely house. We chased each other EVERY WHERE... all over his wonderful bone, that looks like a cigar hanging from his mouth. Its adorable. We did this for a good 15-20 minutes and at the end, Gunther was breathing much like I was. Hard and fast. We finally conceded that he could have the bone and we cuddled on the couch for a bit to catch our breaths, then I left.

I went home, went to sleep. Slept.

Now, on to the REAL story.

This morning, the first thing I noticed was not the birds singing outside my window, or how my dog was curled up so sweetly next to me. No. The first thing I noticed was that my Butt was SO SORE. I climbed out of bed feeling like I worked out like a crazy person the night before. But I didn't work out. Why I am sore? IT COULDN'T BE BECAUSE I WAS RUNNING AROUND IN CIRCLES IN KARI'S HOUSE CHASING A DOG RIGHT? I had to do something else yesterday... Lunges? Run 10,000 miles? It couldn't be. It couldn't. It WAS. How very sad. So I walked into the bathroom and looked at my self in the mirror to assess the damage to my hair and with all seriousness, I looked like a early 80s pop star gone wrong. Terribly Wrong. My bangs were standing straight up, my hair was fuzzy and crazy and I forgot to wash off my eye make up so I had black all around by eyes. All I needed was a leather jacket and a cigarette dangling and you'd think I transported through time.

I repaired the damage (with my hair actually looking cute today...and no I didn't put it up in a crap ball, thank you very much.) And then I got excited. Today is Friday. Friday is half day. More importantly... Friday is Coffee Day!!! My morning routine gets a whole lot faster. I'm speeding around trying to get everything done as quickly as possible so that I can finally hold my Tall, Hot, White Mocha with Vanilla from Java Heaven. I couldn't wait!

So, the last finishing touches: Get Dressed; Put on Deodorant; Put on Jewelry; Spray Perfume; Grab purse; Leave.

All of those were standard... except for the deodorant. I have just developed ANOTHER allergy to the ONLY deodorant I have been able to use for years. *tear* After posting this on Facebook, Kari says she just bough a two pack and that I could try it to see if I liked it or if it destroyed my skin. I stood there... looking at my previously deodorant with disdain. How could you fail me? How could you? After all these years of searching. Why? Then I looked at the new stick of deodorant.. I suddenly went to a dark place. Which is worse? Putting on my old deodorant and dealing with the eating-my-flesh burning sensation or trying this new, SCENTED deodorant and possibly having a more severe reaction? I almost chickened out. Almost. Coffee pulled me through. I grabbed the new deodorant in a rush to get done, out and to Java Heaven when I came across a whole new problem. I, not for my life of me, could not take off the little plastic thingy that is glued to the inside used to keep the deodorant from drying out.

Finally, I used my teeth. I know. Don't judge me. So I put it on, half expecting my skin to sizzle off, but nothing happened. I put the top back on, set it down and went to my perfume. When I lifted my arm I stopped. I could smell it. I can SMELL the deodorant. Is that supposed to happen? Am I the only one that can smell it? WHO would think this was a better alternative. (Ugh, I can smell it right now.) I started to freak out. I don't like smells. Harsh smells give me migraines. I do not like migraines. I quickly recovered, sprayed the perfume and walked out side. As I was backing out of the garage, I turned to go right... and I smelled it. AGAIN. I'm freaking out, man! I literally had to talk myself into calming down and kept focusing on getting a coffee.

I suppose I was focusing really hard which is why I missed my turn. I had to make a U-turn just to go back to the coffee shop. And of course I did it. The thought would never have crossed my mind to just continue to work. No sirree. I wanted that coffee. Needed it.

Is it bad when I roll down my window and the woman at the drive through says, "Would you like your usual?" or is it good? Because I consider it a wonderful thing. "Why yes, I would!" and that's it. She went off to make it (I love when this girl makes it. It's the best) and that was that.

In a much, much better mood after getting my coffee with the decadent chocolate covered coffee bean on the top, I puttered off to work, leaving my window down. I got on the main road, went a steady speed of 60mph, when all of a sudden I am Viciously Attacked by a receipt gone awry! Mind you, I jacked my wrist up so right now, I'm wearing a wrist support to keep it straight, which unfortunately gives me limited movement in my hand. I am also driving with this hand because I cannot hold my coffee in it. My coffee is being held in my right hand.

Sooo... I had no tools to fight this demon receipt! I can only imagine if someone actually saw me this morning in my car. Frantically switching between waving my arms to stop the receipt from getting my face and trying to keep the car straight.

Other than all that craziness, I received great news today! Katie has been having some issues with Zac and things seem to be moving in her favor. Praise God! For those of you that are already praying, please keeping doing so.

Until next time!

Commit Random Acts of Awesome

Yesterday, at around 2:00 in the afternoon, I started to feel really weird. My eyes were crossing, my head was aching, I was extremely overheated and I felt like I was going to be sick. So I left work in a panic to get home before Skeeter (my car) had the unpleasant experience of getting up-chucked on.

Luckily, after running to the restroom and sitting on the floor in front of the toilet for about 15 minutes and then lying in front of the toilet for 30 minutes I got up and went to bed. I dragged myself out of bed at like 5:30 and since Denise went up to Fresno to see Danette (who had hip replacement surgery and is doing very well) I decided to text my friend Anna to see what she was up too.

She took pity on me and my loneliness and invited me to a spa party. I stared at the phone for a good.. oh, two minutes trying to decipher what a 'Spa Party' was. Was it a party in which people brought their foot spas and gave themselves pedicures while discussing how husbands and boyfriends are completely clueless? Was it actually a party that was conducted in a spa? I had no clue.

I finally asked and it's like those Mary Kay and Avon parties. So, I went! It was cool. Because I have very sensitive skin and am allergic to multiple skin products, I tried everything on my arms and hands. However, I did get to paint Anna's face with a really think mask that smelled very Italian. I actually painted way too thick and she had a hard time getting it off, which made for a hilarious story that you can read here.

It was a great night. :)

Today was a fairly busy and productive day at work. I had to key our payroll and this entire year I have been 3 cents off. Just three. I couldn't for the life of me find out where and honestly, I just didn't have the time. This year has been so crazy, so much has fallen through the cracks. But I am excited for this year to close and next year to be way more organized on my part. Getting myself organized is the problem. Time is such an issue!

I am also thinking about a lot of projects to do around the house. I DESPERATELY need to clean my room. Its horrendous. I need to go through my clothes, pack away all of my long sleeve items and get rid of my old unused clothing. I am also thinking about sanding and staining a large dresser as well as fixing the hardware inside. The drawers are all jacked up. But as I was telling Denise at lunch, sanding and staining a desk is not something you can start and just NOT finish. So I'm going to have to seriously think and research if that is something I want to do. We'll see.

Tonight, I have a meeting at 6:15 at La Fiesta. The Young Republicans of Kings County are throwing a formal and I am coordinating everything with the help of Andy, my Co-Chair and Aaron, our Co-co-chair. We have a lot of things to discuss tonight but I am excited to get things on the way.

Other than that, I've been having a great start to my summer. It seems like it is going to be a Really Busy summer. My friend, Ryan, whom I have known since 4th grade when he used to walk me home from school (such a gentlemen) is coming for a visit. I haven't seen him in four years, since he lives in Kansas. I am SO excited to see him. It's a reunion that is long overdue.

I am also planning a trip down to see Alison and the family. I'm really looking forward to that and to me making her take me down to Coronado Beach. Which is my FAVORITE beach. Just in case I haven't told you that before.

Alright. I think I have tortured you with my mundane life quite enough for one post. One more word of advice: Enjoy your life. It's the only one you got.