Friday, January 30, 2009

The End.

Thank the Lord Almighty, the end of this week is drawing near. Luckily, today has been flying by and I only have two hours and fifteen minutes more of work. Woo-Hoo!

The past couple of days have been going pretty smoothly. Denise and I are still in the process of moving, there are boxes pretty much every where in the house. However, it is as organized as it can be.

Last night, we went to dinner with Kari and Adam, which is always fun. After we went to Lassen to clean the kitchen and pack all of our food/dishes. Dee walked in first with me close behind. She takes the turn to go the kitchen and stops right in front of me. It surprised me. I almost knocked into her. When I saw her jaw-dropped facial expression, I followed her gaze and immediately started laughing. EVERYTHING of ours was all over the kitchen table, chairs and floor. Yes, our food and pots and pans was all over the floor.

It was so ridiculous and hilarious and frustrating at the same time. Denise was pretty pissed. I had to keep reminding her that he made it easier. He created a big pile for us, which I am used to because of Alison. (I loathe piles because on cleaning days, Alison would make piles on the floor for me to clean. It was annoying.) But I tried to channel Michael and be positive.

We packed everything up, and only had to make two trips. We didn't see Cisco the entire time we were there. I didn't mind either. I'm afraid that we won't be friends after this. There are too many feelings that I've poured into a sturdy bottle that is sealed pretty tight. If I ever talk to him, I might blow up. Which would probably by glorious and horrible all at the same time.

Wednesday, Michael B. called me to ask if I would come by his work so he could check out the damage on my car. It was very nice to see him. In such a short time he became a close friend. I am always sad when I lose someone I connect with. It's so rare to find someone that you can have a conversation with, without ever having to open your mouth. I'm praying that we'll be able to be friends again in the future.

Well, I should probably get back to work. Everyone is gone today, which makes it nice. I have been getting quite a bit done.

I hope the last two hours pass by as quickly as the first three. Michael is on his way and I can't wait to see him. I've missed him a lot this week... Well...honestly I miss him a lot every week. But seeing him at the end of a really hard week makes it even sweeter. Spending time with him will be the perfect end to this week. :)

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Standing Tall

This week has seriously been a trying one for me. Monday was an awful horrid day and on top of everything else I had to move. Moving is so tedious, so stressful. I am seriously so glad that I'm going to be in this house for a while.

Back to the awfulness that was my Monday... It wasn't just a simple, 'case of the Monday's'. It was far worse. I was woken up by my roommate - sorry, ex-roommate, letting me know I had a flat tire. Then, we realized through a series of events, that it was not a random vandalism, but that it was intentionally done to hurt me, or punish me for some reason.

I don't know what kind of person would do this. I honestly don't. I have traveled to the far corners of my brain to try to think of someone that hates me so much that they would do physical harm to my vehicle. And not just my vehicle. They slashed one tire and attempted to do the next, but it didn't quite go all the way. Thank God I drove slow to work, because if I hadn't the tire would have had a blow-out, which could have caused me to be seriously hurt, or even my Dad, who took Skeeter to be repaired... Not to mention if it had caused an accident with another vehicle.

It was a really hard day. Thankfully I had the support of my family and friends to help get me through it. I don't know if the person responsible will read this blog, but if so, I do hope you think twice before hurting my vehicle or someone else's vehicle in the future. You aren't just causing monetary damage. You could possibly cost someone their life with your foolish decisions.

I just reread the last couple of lines and realized my "Mom Voice" was totally in full effect. :)

Anyways, the full weight of having a long distance relationship with Michael hit on Monday. After having such a horrible day, all I wanted was a big bear hug from him and for him to tell me everything would be okay. Unfortunately, with a long distance relationship you miss out on those little bonding moments. The chance to make your significant other laugh when they are mad, or to take them on some type of adventure to divert their troubled mind. It also doesn't help when you are female and having a day that makes you a tad emotionally unstable. Those moments make me wish I had the no nonsense, all literal mind many men have.

I survived Monday, am still in the process of moving into the new Casa, working out the kinks of having a Jack and Jill style bathroom with Denise and getting used to the sounds an old house makes.

All in all, I won't let days like Monday get me down, especially when I have so much to be happy about.


Sunday, January 25, 2009

The Moving Has Begun...

Yesterday, Denise and I started to move what we could out of the garage. My mom's husband, Larry let me borrow his truck and my mom ended up coming to help a bit. As our luck would have it, it started to rain. So there was only so much we could accomplish.

Today, after a great church service, I borrowed the truck and Denise and I moved quite a bit. Her sister and her boyfriend helped us out.

We still have some things to move, but I'm confident we'll be in the house by Tuesday.

I really wish things would have worked out with Cisco. It's really hard living in a house that you have no freedom in. I think things worked out for the best though.

On another note, I am really happy. Truly happy. There are, of course, a few things I'd like to fix. I'm having a hard time with the not seeing Michael thing. It seems like I get to a point of NOT wanting to miss him, so I just turn it off. All of it. I hate constantly feeling like I miss him. It's like I need to breathe every once in a while. So I turn it off... but then it seems that after I do that, we start talking on the phone/internet less. We started to pick at each other a bit more... More miscommunication and then we fight.

So I have been trying to balance both... The missing him and the breathing. It's hard... I hate him not being here for the big stuff... or I guess, even the little stuff. But that is life. It's what we have for now.

Another week starts tomorrow. Work, moving, bills. The never ending cycle. I'm sure it will be a good week though!

Listening to: Brian and Jenn Johnson - O, Taste and See

Friday, January 23, 2009

Home is Where the Heart is

Well, its official! Denise and I have signed the rental agreement for the house.


I am so happy, so terribly excited to have a real home.

Over the past 4 years I have been searching for a place that could be my sanctuary... A place that I could shut the door and lock everyone else out. Its an amazing feeling to sign on the dotted line and be handed the keys to my own place.

My own place. My new home.

It probably doesn't seem like a big deal to the average person, but I have never had a home that I felt safe in. One that I could come home to after a long day at school or work and know that the moment I stepped in, I would feel better. Unfortunately, I've never had that.

I am determined to make this house a real home.

I can't wait to get started tomorrow!

Thursday, January 22, 2009

"Shake and Bake. You'll be my Best Friend Forever."

I posted a picture of Denise and I for my Picture It Thursday for a reason.

If I didn't have this chick, I don't know what I would do.

I was reluctant to start a relationship. When I say, reluctant, I don't mean hesitant. I was running in the opposite direction with my fingers in my ears screaming, "LA LA LAAA!"

Not wanting a boyfriend was the first thing on my list. But sometimes things just work out. And sometimes you just have to have your best friend that slaps you on the head and says, "Hey, you are being an idiot. Just because your ex really hurt you doesn't mean that he will too."

And I'm glad that I listened to her.

I'm really, really happy.

Picture This Thursday

she's my best friend. :)

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Tuesday Musings

1 But now, this is what the LORD says—
he who created you, O Jacob,
he who formed you, O Israel:
"Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

2 When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.

3 For I am the LORD, your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;
I give Egypt for your ransom,
Cush and Seba in your stead.

4 Since you are precious and honored in my sight,
and because I love you,
I will give men in exchange for you,
and people in exchange for your life.

5 Do not be afraid, for I am with you;
I will bring your children from the east
and gather you from the west.

A Happier Place...

For the most part, last week was not very good. Not very good at all. My boss, Kim, was out sick with the flu the entire week. Which always stresses me out, because I get the brunt of the teachers asking me questions I have no idea how to answer. Then there are the exasperated "sigh"s when they ask when Kim will be back, and I answer an honest, "I have no idea. She's pretty sick."

So by Thursday, I was stressed to the max. By noon I was fighting off a massive migraine and I could hardly look at the computer without my eyesight blurring. But, I had a job to do. I went and picked up Denise, we ran errands and grabbed some food in hopes that it would curb the headache. It didn't. I dropped her off and went back to work. Finally I left and went home, took some of my wonderful migraine medication and microwaved a heating bag until it was so hot it felt like it would scorch the top of my head. The only thing my brain can do in times of that much pain is shut down. So I passed out.

I woke up and was shaky. I laid with Denise for an hour or so, and then she started to deal with her boyfriend. Now ex. Hearing how he was talking to her, I was getting upset and flustered. On top of everything else, Michael had called me earlier, when I has hardly coherent, to tell me that after class he was going out with the guys, which almost always means drinking. But that he wouldn't "disappear" and would text me later. Well I hadn't heard from him, at all. And didn't until 9:15pm. He said his phone had died and he'd call me later. Later was 10:15. And while on the phone, he said..."Babe, open the's really cold out here."

Needless to say I was beyond stoked. But the happiness from that moment couldn't carry over into the night, where at 2 a.m. I awoke with piercing migraine #2. Unfortunately, I couldn't pass out this time. I ended up being awake for most of the night. I didn't go to work the next day.

Friday, Michael and I went to the Hanford v. Hanford West game.. which was completely frustrating and awesome. Hanford High managed to win at the last second. The next day, Alison gave me a call and said... "Let's go to Disneyland." And while I give every reason why we can't, Michael says "Absolutely!" After a while, I felt like I needed a break, to do something spontaneous and fun... So off we go.

We packed, Auntie Kari and Uncle Adam watched Duey-Poo, and we left.

You can't help but feel like a kid when you arrive at Disneyland... We all had such a great time. Watching Emma experience everything was amazing... You could see the excitment in her eyes. Luckily she wasn't afraid of the rides. In the end, they passed on a few of the shows, because she was having such a blast on the rides. We took turns with the kids, Alison and Mark managed to spend some alone time together, Michael and I rode all of the rides (I even when on California Screamin' for him.) We took turns sitting with Emma and we all had a chance to sit out with Brody while he lounged in the stroller.

It ended up being a great trip... even though I've been exhausted all week. :)

I'm so blessed to have the family, friends and boyfriend that I do. It's amazing the opportunities we have in this country that we take for granted.

I'm going to try to do less of that this year.

(I'll post a few pictures once Alison send them out.)

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Invention Of The Month

When I finally purchased my new Dell laptop, Michael made me download the Firefox web browser. At first, I was none to happy. I'm was not a big fan of Mozilla Firefox at all.

Oh, how naive I was. I will admit it. Michael was right. Firefox is awesome. You may be wondering if that is what my Invention of the Month is. No, it is not. But, it does have everything to do with Firefox.

In fact, Michael is responsible for introducing me to January's Invention of the Month. Since then, I have been thoroughly addicted to it. It's called, StumbleUpon.

StumbleUpon is an amazing feature that you can download to your Firefox browser. You sign up for it, answer some questions, select some categories that interest you, and you are on your way. According to the demo on the StumbleUpon site, 'StumbleUpon is a free tool that discovers websites based on your interests, learns what you like, and brings you more. Every time you click the stumble button you're brought to a website that matches your personal interests.'

I have literally spent hours roaming from website to website. If you have Firefox, I recommend downloading it.

:) Enjoy!

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

On My Heart

I have been having really vivid dreams lately. When I wake up in the morning after having one, I feel completely disoriented. I get confused because I could have sworn a few minutes ago I was in an entirely different world, but I wake up safe in bed.

These dreams have been coming more and more frequently. I'd say they started around Christmas. I don't really don't know how to go about listing them on here. I don't think I will even attempt it.

I feel like in about a year and a half or so, I will be leaving to go to another country. I feel like I am supposed to submit myself for a year and dedicate myself entirely to missions work. The only place I dream of is Africa. I've always wanted to travel the world and help others, but this is the first time that I have ever had a dream about it. The first time where I have felt a pull towards setting up my life to go away for a year.

We'll see how it works out. I know God has a plan for me. I don't know if a trip to Africa is in it. But I will be keeping my eyes and ears open. In the meantime, I should probably take Larry up on his offer to take me shooting. Just in case.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Tuesday Musings

money talks...
but it can't sing 'n dance, and it cant walk
as long as i can have you here with me,
i'd much rather be forever in blue jeans babe.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Picture This Thursday

Andrej Belic
(Click the photo to be taken to his website)

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Tuesday Musings

.::Things to do in 2009::.

  • Start volunteering time in the community.
  • Start new and lasting friendships
  • Work on my faith
  • Live my life without fear.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

A New Beginning

Happy New Year!!

When I look back at the past year, I honestly can't believe how much my life has changed. So many important decisions have been made. It's amazing.

Denise's mom, (my boss) Kim, says that the most trying years are between 18 and 25. If we can survive the 8 years from becoming a legal adult to our quarter of a century birthday, we'll be golden. I believe her. Only 4 years left. :)

These past few years have been a roller coaster. It has been exciting and scary, which a few sharp turns that have knocked me around a little.

I look forward to 2009. I have a lot of possibilities on the horizon. All in all, I am pretty excited.